Saturday, January 5, 2013

Irreconcilable Differences.

I am experiencing an almost third life crisis. 

What the hell have I done to myself to be so unsatisfied lately?

On one hand:
I have my health.
A career I don't regret and a job I love.
A beautiful baby boy (and 4 months preggo today:)
A partner
A roof over my head
A car

On the contrary..
I feel like crap most days, don't exercise much, and am somewhat depressed.
I love my son ggff (him typing lol) but am worried about having another.
He is just as flawed as I am, not including our relationship issues.
I live in pretty shitty and dangerous city
Time for a bigger car after the 2nd baby
+ More stuff that require separate posts.

What is missing? Hmmmmm. Is it God? faith? religion? peace? Could very well be true but I am prone to skepticism in this area much to the dismay of ActivistGuy.  I know.....I am working on it. Perhaps I need to work much harder, eh?

Anywho,  I am at a fork in the road as to how I reconcile realities with ideologies. 

I feel like my late twenties are no longer mine.  I have a passport with no stamps, a body that will never be the same, bills and responsiblilities, serious relationship issues, few friends, and another child on the way.  If I am being honest with myself, several things have to change but I am not sure where to begin and making excuses is seriously getting old. 

CHILE PLEASE- Things done changed.


Anonymous said...

Hey! Happy new year! I'm still subscribed to you after all these years!! LOL and want to tell you congrats on your second bundle of joy (expecting) and also I hope things work out for you in the long run. Just keep blogging and if you need anything I will be here reading! :D

like 2Pac say, Keep your head up!


Anonymous said...

Hey Miss,
I have been a reader o here for years, way before activist guy really became AG. And now here you are preggo with the 2nd baby!!!
Life has its ups and down and sometimes it is easy to pay attention to the downs. A body that will never be urs but two little babies that always will be and they will be a representation of what u endured to create such amazing little people. I have a simple policy that gets me through the worst, life sorts itself out. We stress ourselves harrrddd on some things and when its solved, ur like really? thats it. So relax, take each day at a time and don't forget there are some of us out here still reading ur blog, watching u grow, growing with you and most of all cheering u on from the invisible sidelines called cyberspace.

Miss Lovely said...

@houston- I'm so happy i'm still relevant to a few in the blogosphere! Thanks for reading. I am slowly but surely re-introducing myself to blogging. It's my therapy.

@Anon- Thank you so much for the positive vibes!! I look back on this blog like "Dammmnn WTF was I thinking!!!" it's definitely cathartic. I am definitely going to keep blogging!