Well, at least I don't all the time. I got a hair story to tell. Wanna hear it? Here it go! I am no stranger to doing my own hair. Growing up in the struggle my mother did not have money to send me to the salon every 2 weeks. Mom dukes broke out the Kiddie Kit relaxer at age 5.
And my face would be just.like.that.
She would keep it in braids, twist, beads, shells and thangs! I had all the dope styles! Occasionally she would break out the big black dreaded hot comb (that is thee only time in life i've ever wanted to hit my mom, esp when she burns the tip of your ear ARRGGH!) I had that Auntie that knows how to do hair but she wasn't always available. In high school I taught myself how to care for my own hair: braids, sew-ins, bumping, so an and so forth. Micro's were my go to style and I was pretty good and quick. My last experience with a salon had me waiting for damn near 6 hours and she didn't do the style I asked for after I tipped her previously. Miss Lovely will not endure that fuckery anymore. Cudos to those who can. Eventually, my hair grew past my shoulders but has never broken the bra strap barrier. I have been natural for 3 years now. Before then I was only perming my edges and roots. Becoming pregnant aided me in my decision to abandon the relaxer all together. I chose to transition instead of big chop because simply put: I ain't about that life! After I hadMr. Baby Man the hair in the front of my hair broke off. Later the sides and my edges followed and I was devastated. That thick mane of crown and glory I was so proud of was chopped and screwed. I messed around with a couple of sew-ins until I just gave up and just wore it out. Most of the time I wore it in a banana clip with a bang like this:
I got tired of this and so did my hair
After a few Youtube tutorials and overpriced African salon quotes, I tried my hand at Senegalese twists for the first time this December.
Voila! Took me 3 days.
Took em out 2 weeks ago and put in box braids last week.
Though very time consuming I think i'll stick with braids for awhile, or at least until my edges catch up. All those cute styles on Instagram give me inspiration but chileeeeeeee.....I ain't got time for that! Nor do I have the patience. Natural hair is work and all those products.....pffffft! I'm not saying i'm going back to relaxers but damnit it was a lot easier that way. Every once in awhile that cream crack devil whispers "Just do the edges, that's all." God say stay away from the creamy crack, but it harrrd to DO! [in my Abeline from The Help voice]. When I was perming I could wear half wigs (that blended well), straight, updo's, curls. Now, my hair won't stay straight for sh*t in the summer time! Cmon son! The Natural Hair Care movement is something i'm down with BUT don't make me feel guilty for wearing my hair straight. And heck no i'm not growing locs. That's waaaay too permanent for me. I've encountered one too many (in person or online) self righteous natural coiffed women who think that if you're not down with the movement, you're somehow wallowing in self-hate to appease the mainstream. And on the other side you have black men that claim they prefer natural hair on a woman but salivate over the first blond hair weave headed chick that struts by. No lie: Since i've been natural I i've gotten way less attn from black men than when I was relaxed. It's cray cray! I'm not going back to the crack but if that's what you do, HEY [arms outstretched]..do YOU. CHILE PLEASE- At the end of the day, does it really matter how we wear our hair? Colored, natural, twisted, braided, cut, permed, fried, dyed, or layed to the side. It's what inside that counts right-RIGHT??
What the hell have I done to myself to be so unsatisfied lately?
On one hand:
I have my health.
A career I don't regret and a job I love.
A beautiful baby boy (and 4 months preggo today:)
A roof over my head
On the contrary..
I feel like crap most days, don't exercise much, and am somewhat depressed.
I love my son ggff (him typing lol) but am worried about having another.
He is just as flawed as I am, not including our relationship issues.
I live in pretty shitty and dangerous city
Time for a bigger car after the 2nd baby
+ More stuff that require separate posts.
What is missing? Hmmmmm. Is it God? faith? religion? peace? Could very well be true but I am prone to skepticism in this area much to the dismay of ActivistGuy. I know.....I am working on it. Perhaps I need to work much harder, eh?
Anywho, I am at a fork in the road as to how I reconcile realities with ideologies.
I feel like my late twenties are no longer mine. I have a passport with no stamps, a body that will never be the same, bills and responsiblilities, serious relationship issues, few friends, and another child on the way. If I am being honest with myself, several things have to change but I am not sure where to begin and making excuses is seriously getting old.