Monday, September 28, 2009

Meriods.


My new made up word. Do mention me on twitter if you plan to steal my sh*t..I'm just sayin....

What are the origins of my new favorite word not in the English language (yet) you might ask?

Well, over the last say uhhhh...ALL MY LIFE on this earth I have come to the conclusion that men undergo some sort of crisis or variation of the "The Curse" every month. You know Adamn was like: "Damn, Eve..you know you ain't gone finish alladat by yo'self"

From interrupting pre-pubescent double-dutch games to interrupting Taylor Swift, men have evolved from annoying in childhood to annoying-er in adulthood. Uncle Mo comes to visit those XY chromosomes when Aunt Flo kicks his ass for gettin all "I'ma let you finish BUT..."

Now i'm not talking about the typical male behavior..I.e: Leaving the toilet seat up, ignoring me during a game, perstering me for sex all thee time, farting, belching, cheating..ectera ectera and so on and so forth. Meriods are different. These Ralph Tresvantish fits come out of absolutely nowhere. Men may not endure the painful cramps, bleeding, and random cravings of hunger for lays chips and only green peanut M&M's (ok, maybe thats just me :/) but meriods exist. They are like Lady Gaga's penis. We all know its there, we just haven't seen it (and don't want too *shuddersx10*)

Case in point: AG had a Meriod last night when I told him I wasn't coming over after spending thee entire weekend with him(met some of his family..that's a whole notha post chile). My excuse?: I'm waiting for UPS to deliver my new phone (my G1 screen went funky on me), AND I was dead ass tired. He damn near had a hissy fit and told me that he see's that my phone is "more important" and that I have two choices "wait for my phone, or come and let him peen poke"(ok he didn't say the last part but you know he was thinking that sh*t!)

MERIOD alert!!!! MERIOD alert!!! Pop 2 Midol, shove a Tampax up that ass and call me in the marnin!

Ugh. I seriously had no idea where that spike in estrogen came from and I didn't like it uno bit. Later he called me and told me that he was "just joking" but the soprano in his voice indicated otherwise. I chaulked it up as his first Meriod with me and gave him a pass.

That's just one incident..Plenty more where that came from. But ladies what are you experiences with MERIODS? Men, please feel free to join in with yall meriod havin asses.

CHILE PLEASE
- You try squeezing something the size of a small watermelon out your pee-pee hole!


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

To label or not to label? & Lamar Odom lookin-bishes




First things first..

This is a long one since I haven't posted in awhile but oh well. Get over it!

I went on my big job interview out of state. It went well. I appeared and sounded professional. I definitely showed my interest for the job and asked great questions. I followed up with "thank you" letters and called. It's been a week and 2 days. I haven't heard anything back but I am expecting to hear something this week. I'm still optimisitic. **crossing my fingers**

Labels?
Me and Activist Guy still hanging out. He took me 2 a Phillie's Game last week. Even though baseball isn't my sport of choice (i'm a basketball girl) it was still a good time. Phillies had a Grand-Slam and everyone went wild but me..Ooops! I thought Grand Slam was just something they served at Denny's :/ Afterward, I felt so bad. AG was screaming like a crazy person and here I was spitting my sunflower seeds out ever so daintly. I had no idea it was that big of a deal LOL! But on to the labels...whathaveu..

He asked me if he should change his status to "In A Relationship" on FB and I told him "nah". There's a few reasons why: The main reason is IDK if I want to throw a label on what we have yet. Labels usually fuck shit up. The second reason is that he told me he didn't want another "girlfriend"..I don't particularly know what he meant by that but what I think he meant was that he wanted more than just a "girlfriend"..Third reason I don't want to make it official on these social networking sites is that people are fucking nosey. People are haters. And while i'd be more than happy to let them hate..I just don't need the extra fuckery in my life. If we make it official i'll def let you all know but for now..we are "label-less."


Other shit
While I was over at VSB's reading this post about "closure" I was reminded that I needed to post on something that happened:

Chocolate's (yall remember him right?) punk ass hopped out the woodwork and requested me on FB. Innit that special???????

For those that don't know him, Chocolate and I dated for a few mths last summer, until the motherfucker up and stopped calling me out the blue one day. No texts, no nothing!! Just straight disappeared on me without so much as a "Fuck you."

So >>FastForward to this past Friday (this is the response I left on VSB btw)

He requests me on FB (funny cause when we were dating he was adamant about not signing up for FB..whopteefuckinDOO!) and sends me a message like everything was good. “Hey lady”.. So, I approve him (cause you know I wanted him to see what a success i’ve become and look at my 37 albums of fineness) but I naturally I asked him WTF was up w/that Houdini act he pulled? His response:

“I tried to tell you..I just wasn’t ready so I stepped off”

“You ain’t tell me sh*t!”<—is what i wanted to respond but instead I told him how immature he was. Also told him it was in the past and i'm past it. On to the next one……………….whathaveu.

So yea, I felt like I needed closure but at the end of the day it really doesn't matter. He never apologized..(EVER)..I don't think i'll ever be satisfied w/that bitchass explanation so I just let it go.

CHILE PLEASE-

I'm more satisfied with knowing:
Me = Halle Berry
His baby moms = Lamar Odom with Remi Hair

Monday, September 7, 2009

Wading Thru



I been job searching and i'm out of that depression I was in. I'm also happy to say that i've had a few interviews. One at a psych hospital which i'm still waiting to hear back from and a nursing home. BUUuuuuut the biggest of the interviews is this Friday at one of the best hospitals in the U.S. I will refrain from naming said hospital (if you follow me on twitter than u already know) but if and when I get the job i'll make the annoucement. If I get the job at said hospital I will have to relocate out of state and with that comes a new career, life, friends, apartment, and car. But until i'm sure i'm gonna try and keep mum about it. To be continued...

Yea so..
Me and Activist Guy have gotten closer in these last few weeks. He's been rather patient with me for the past..damn..it's almost been a year since he started pursuing me. But yea, I went over his house to watch Trueblood (best f*ckin show on TV btw) a couple weeks ago and since then we've gotten closer. I won't say how close but close enough. This is all new to me. I've dealt with assholes for so long that idk how to interpret his actions. Is it the trial period? Or is he really sincere? Methinks its a bit of both. Here's a list of the sweet things he's done so far:

1. He gives me massages when I don't even ask. Even my feet lol
2. Kisses me on the forehead in the morning :)
3. Takes me to places and shows me new things..art galleries, restaurants I wouldn't normally eat at..
4. He even cooked breakfast for me a few times
But best of all...
5. He listens.

Listens to me bitch and complain about my mundane ass life when I think his is 80303430493049x more interesting. He's into ME. I feel like it was always the other way around with my love life. I was always stuck on some loser *coughSJcough* that wouldn't give me the time of day. Now I have someone willing to take on the challenge of trying to love me. And sometimes I am a very hard "me" to love.

I want to say this is the start of something good but at the same time I am cautious to put myself outthere so soon. Vulnerability and stupidity go hand in hand. I've been here before (if only for a short while *coughChocolatecough* but AG feels like he is making a sincere effort. Genuine in his words and following through with his actions. I, on the other hand,feel like something is holding me back but I can't express it in my own words so here's an analogy that kinda explains how I feel:

Imagine walking through a scorching desert with the sun beating down on your head for 3 days. You spot a body of water in the distance and dash through the hot sands to cool off. After what seems like an eternity you reach the cold blue waves of reprieve. You go to jump in until you realize--You can't swim.

CHILE PLEASE- Wading gets old after awhile. Guess it's time I took swimming lessons.