Love Above Evil

Activist Guy leaves for the Motherland.
He left for his South Africa trip yesterday. Matter of fact he just called me about 20mins ago from Cape Town letting me know he got there safe. Prior to leaving he held a fundraiser/going away party. He raffled off an iPod touch that he won at a poetry show the week prior.

Aside: Well really...i'd won it cause I had the winning ticket that he'd bought for me. But whatev..he needed the money and I already have an iPod so it was only right..

Ppl also were to bring school supplies for children in Africa. A nice amount of ppl came out. I helped him out at the table and counted the money...whathaveu. A friend of his that also paints helped him raise money by auctioning off some of his art work. And wouldntyaknow that I won that raffle too :)..I picked out this glorious painting entitled "Love Above Evil."

I spent some time with him Monday and we just talked, chilled..etc. Twas nice but I find myself putting that wall up. He asked me if I was scarred from previous relationships..Yes, yes I am.. I so know that he wants to take it too the next level but something inside of me is saying to take it sloooow. I haven't even kissed him yet. Is that bad? He's done so many thoughtful things for me in the last few weeks: Bought me Aleve when my period came on, eco friendly cleaner when I told him my asthma started after cleaning with bleach..Just little things that make me smile yall. With that said; I can't differentiate his benevolence from the ill-intentioned men i've dealt with. He asked me if there is anything he could do to heal the scars. No, I have to do it on my own.. I told him that I was "dating" and he agreed that he shouldn't put all his eggs in one basket. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. But he's persistent as hell with his work in the community so what in the world would make me think that he'd give up on perusing something that he wants--me. At one point he asked me where i'd like to go for my honeymoon. I was dead ass when I told him Dubai. He laughed at me like I was crazy but later sent me a goodnight text.."dream of dubai." Heavaaaay ..Heavaaaay!!!


SexyJamaican saga continues..

So I came out and told him I had a friend when I accidentally sent him a text msg meant for Activist Guy. This was the same night a couple weeks ago that he payed Victoria a visit. That night he also saw the roses Activist Guy got me for the dance. I think he was hurt. And in a way, I wanted him to be after all he'd done to me. Lately he's been updating his FB status' in French about some girl he met and how she's so "real" blah blah blah. This is a ploy for attention. He thrives off it but i'm tired of my heart sinking everytime I see his status' in my mini-feed. I got really annoyed one night and asked if he has a g/f. He denied. She's just someone he "works with" that's helping him brush up on his French. Yea...surrrrre. Then he tries to flip the situation and starts asking me 21?'s about my "b/f" (referring to Activist Guy). I told him I didn't have a b/f. We went back and forth for awhile and he admitted that he needs to see me...that it feels like heroin withdraw. It didn't dawn on me then, but last night, I was watching the Sex & The City ep. (shout out to KB) where Carrie is creeping in & out of seedy motels with a married Big. At one point Big sarcastically brings up Carrie's "b/f" after a bang out session & then it hits me: SJ is my Big. Big is jealous. Carrie is jealous. We're making eachother jealous.

CHILE PLEASE--Closet in Dubai or NY?