Monday, November 24, 2008

Keepin up with the Jones'

First i'd like to say that I try to keep up with commenting on my blog folks posts but it gets hard sometimes and a sis gets busy. I will try to make blog rounds this week cause I def miss you guys ♥

The semester is coming to a close and I couldn't be happier. I'm tired of living with a bunch of females. I need a freaking break and Thanksgiving is a few days away. My grandmom is holding festivities this year so I can't wait for all that fooooooooooooooood!

I finally got my loan check. It feels so good to have extra money in my pocket...I haven't gone on a shopping spree yet. I am definitely due for a new phone and I was thinking about the G1? Hmmm..I hate feeling like i'm trying to keep up with the Jones' but I deserve something nice. I'll probably hit the mall like the rest of the sheep on black Friday.

What else...
I have come to accept the fact that i've neglected myself in the love dept. I haven't been out on a date, to lunch. Shit..haven't even held a good conversation with a guy since July. I know some of yall are tired of hearing me yap about it but too effin bad..The thing is..I've always said I wasn't going to be that bitter girl who had her heart broken. Always said that I was too smart to get hurt. Always thought I was too strong to break down. In reality?...........I.am.that.girl.

I clearly have trust issues now and I don't know how i'm going to work through it if/when I get into a serious relationship. I've always been the one to hate when my friends were boo loving but honestly I was being a hater. Deep down I want what they have (there goes those Jones' again). Don't get me wrong, I love my single ladies (and all the wild fuckery we get into) but in a few years I wanna come home after a long day and have some strong arms greet me at the door.


CHILE PLEASE
-- Amel help me out...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I saw Chocolate today

My mood today has been rather melancholy. My patient was annoying, my classmates were annoying. My clinical instructor noticed how "blah" I was and let me go home early..So as I was driving home from the hospital I look over and who do I see in the opposite lane at the light? Yup, the one they call Chocolate ((something told me to go that way)). I'm not sure if he saw me but he really couldn't miss me..And if he did he didn't make eye contact. I didn't beep my horn or roll down my window..just drove on past as if i'd never met him. After telling all my friends (and blog friends) that if I saw him how I was gonna exhibit all types of fuckery and blackerdry--Nothing. Didn't stop traffic or make a scene. I was a complete zombie; in shock even. When I got back to my apt I worked out at the gym like a mad woman, took a long hot shower, grabbed a bite to eat, went to my room and cried.my.eyes out.


CHILE PLEASE
- I could've sworn I was over that situation...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Vent!!!!!!!!


-I want someone to take me out to dinner. Not Friday's or Applebees but somewhere i've never been. Maybe PF Changs?

-I haven't been to the movies since this past summer. Sucks. I change the channel whenever movie trailers come on...

-Haven't been shopping since earlier this yr. I have no money. Literally. Next week I get my loan check after fighting with financial aid all semester. Eff being responsible..there's this cute pink pea coat I saw in H&M..Mommas comin' for you baby!

-I don't like living with other people. I'm not washing your dirty dishes, and don't use my pots if you can't cook or wash them out afterward!

-I like being alone. To myself. In my room. Chillin--hard. Don't care if you think i'm antisocial.

-Frankly, I could give a warm fuck what most people think about me.

-Girls are so catty. It's disgusting really.

-Men are so catty. It's even more disgusting.

-Sex is not overrated, just the ppl.

-For the 93749348304859348th time. Men are stupid.

-So what i'm only 115lbs and work out. I have high cholesterol bitch! Stop looking at me like that!

-I can't stand loud ppl. They're usually the first to run when bows are throwed..

-You're too old to be fightin any damn way. Grow the eff up!

-I can't stand ppl who think they know everything. Shut the eff up!

-You don't want to be black, but you tan every day?

-Last: The pregnant "man" is a just woman with a beard!!!! Stop feeding into this fuckery!

CHILE PLEASE!
--Never again will I forget the "Chile Please!" (Thanks Mimi!!)

Monday, November 10, 2008

Manfriends



I swear since I moved on campus my vagina has been under attack. I'll speak to these "manfriends" when I see them but in the back of my mind i'm always thinking: "Hmph! All he wants to do is fuck me.."

And 9.99/10 times it's true. Case in point:

Bigeyes is a guy I met when I first started going here. I knew he liked me because most guys do (not that i'm conceited or anything but most dudes DO..Take it how you want) Anywho, he's been trying to get at me since I stepped foot on campus. He's a nice guy and all but nothing too the point where I wanted to date him; so i've always kept things at arms length. Especially now because he has a girlfriend.

So 3 weeks ago BigEyes got onstage at our talent show and professed his love for his g/f in a poem

"I love her"..blah blah blah
"Forget those other hoes"..blah blah blah
I LOVE YOU...blah blah bullshit

At first I was like: Wow, this blackard is really in love huh? Good for him :) So today I get a text message from him:

"Do you know how to give good massages?"

What kinda fuckery is this^^^^Guess i'm one of those other hoes *side eye*. So I didn't respond and when I saw him in the cafe 20mins later her asked if I got his message:

"Yea..."
"Why didn't you respond?"
"Sir, that's your girlfriends job.."
"She's not here today..."

I pretty much gave him the "sucks for you.." and kept it movin with my ketchups (yes I steal condiments from the cafe!)

PAUSE
II PAUSE: He's calling me right now! Hold on yall..

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Ok, i'm back.. I picked up just to see what he had to say, plus it would make this post more interesting lol. Dontcha'know this blackard just asked me again if I would give him a massage. Sir, Are.you.serious? I told his ass I wasn't a massage therapist and to throw some ice on that shit and wait till his chick gets back. Do I have bitchslutwhoreskankscallywagtrickasstrick written on my forehead? Seriously though..Do I? I told him to take a freaking nap.

CHILE PLEASE
- Maybe I should walk around with a helmet so these fools will stop trying to beat me on the head.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

I got a story to tell.

Sorry about the teaser but I love to torture you all with suspense...This is a long post so don't be getting mad at me cause you didn't finish your work. I warned your ass! Grab the popcorn and gather round folk...

And the story goes a lil sumptin like thisssss....

So Friday night I'm getting ready for the party. I decided to go as a sexy vampire. So as i'm getting all vamped up SexyJamaican's brother Teddy, who also happens to be one of my best friends, called out the blue. Mind you, he rarely EVER calls me during the semester, so right off the bat I knew something was up. We get to chatting and I tell him i'm on my way to this Halloween party..

Teddy: Oh word? I heard you was on the flyer. Doing big things huh?!!
Me: Who told you I was on the flyer?? (Teddy is in VA for school)
Teddy: Uhh umm..SexyJamaican...Yea, I just talked to him and he is definitely gonna be in the building tonight so behave yourself
Me: Behave myself? Excuse me but i'm a [She-na-na] La-Dee! [/Martin] (I almost had to cuss him out for that comment. But I digress, that's my homie and he was lookin out for me yall..)

OK. I knew SJ might, possibly be there but Teddy had confirmed it. He also said he was bringing the "fiancee" (ugh). As I put on my bright red lipstick my hand started shaking, stomach got queasy and I started having second thoughts. No NO NO..I'm going. Fuck him!

>>Fastforward
I get to the party and immediately start scanning the room. My girl said he wasn't coming until later. So I commenced to getting tipsy. 4 Apple martini's later, tipsy is a memory as I find myself dancing with the 303480348th random guy and having so much fun I completely forgot about SJ. That is, until my girl dances up on me and says: "OK, he's here..right behind you...don't make it obvious"...

I turned around and there he was. The motherfucker that broke my heart without so much as blinking an eye. Should I throw my martini in his face? Kick him in the balls? Nah, instead I did what any broken-hearted lady would do. I flashed my most beautiful, crimson-lipped, seductive, look-what-you-missed-out-on smile at him. Not to my surprise he smiled back (he always loved my smile). Eventually he made his way over to me and asked me how I was doing..

Me: Fine..How are you? *still smiling*
Him: I'm ok..*staring*

At this point everything was a blur..From what I can remember I continued dancing with random guys (and girls lmao) right in front of his face LOL! He basically held up the wall and just kept staring at me half the damn night. At one point I asked him where his "fiancee" was because his attn was clearly focused on me. She was across the room dressed as Dorothy. If i'd had 1 more drink flowing thru my bloodstream I would've told her to click her heels 3 times and go back to Africa. But I digress, she stayed on her side of the room most of the night and didn't even say anything when I kept poking him right in front of her face. Seems to me she should have dressed as the cowardly lion after all the cunty comments she made on the innanets about "bitches hatin" when they got together. Anywho, the devil juice did take hold of me in other ways:

  1. I kept poking the back of his neck as I walked past (he hates ppl touching his face/neck) but he just kept grinning like a cheshire cat.
  2. In the midst of being a drunk and hot girl I managed to lose my cell phone. Guess who found it?? Yup..him. That's when I knew it was time to stop drinking LOL.
  3. Having thought I lost my moms super-duper expensive camera I harassed the DJ into making several announcements until finally realizing I left it in the car..smh.

In the parking lot the devil juice prevailed as some blackards started fighting over lawd knows what. Probably scuffed Adidas or something. After poking SJ a few more times and FunnyGirl even biting the back of his neck for good measure we left and I never felt so good. Despite the circumstances that was the most fun i'd had in a very long time..In fact--EVER!

The next morning I get a text from..........................Yup. Asking if I made it home safe. On the way out the door I remember him telling me he was gonna get my number from Teddy cause he wanted to talk to me; but I waved it off as the alcohol talking. I guess it wasn't. He called and basically gave me a man apology (one of those apologize where he dances around the actual words "i'm sorry") He said the engagement is off but they're still technically together until he moves out of state in a few months.

"When I saw you the entire room stopped. It was just me and you..."--SexyJamaican

Somebodies been watching their soap-operas cause he deserves a Daytime Emmy after that Susan Luchi comment. He acknowledged his manipulative ways and chaulked it up to his "trust issues." Said that he was starting to trust me so he basically fucked things up between us intentionally cause he was afraid I would hurt him. It was an interesting conversation but this post is long enough. The conversation boiled down to us being 'cool' with each other and letting go of the animosity.We both got the closure that was needed and it's nice to know that we can be in the same room and furniture not be moving. In some crazy fucked up way............I miss him..and I know he misses me. But my heart keeps saying:

CHILE PLEASE--We can never be...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Witches, Goblins, and SexyJamaican?

"When I saw you the entire room stopped. It was just me and you..."

CHILE PLEASE- This is gonna be a long story....