Saturday, April 26, 2008

SexyJamaican: The Last Chapter

So i'm back. Go to the bathroom, grab some popcorn, get a babysitter cause this is gonna be a long one..

Well, lets jump right into what's happened and why my heart is on the ground.

SexyJamaican done up and got a girlfriend on me.

Yea, and that's not the worst part. Here's how I found out :

Two weeks ago i'm checking my Facebook. Yes I have a Facebook. Dare I say i'm slightly addicted but hey that's all the entertainment I have when i'm doing my work. Anywho, I log in and see my friend updates.

Angrybitterbitch is still an angry bitter bitch.
Lonely boy is still lonely.
Gay boy has joined the group I'm Gay Gay Gay..

Who cares? until I see this:

SexyJamaican is listed as in a relationship with "Random Chick"

This has got to be a joke right?! So to further amuse myself and to assure that I was still not in a drunken stupor (It was my homegirls 21st Bday the night before so I was still sobering up at this point). I check his page and sure enough it's true. The chick done left messages and everything. My heart dropped. I was crushed. The tears started falling. Then a few seconds later the Remy kicked in from the night before and I was pissified! My first instinct was to leave a ignant ass message on his wall. But since i'm a [Sha-nay-nay]Laaaady[/Martin] I did the most rational thing and decided to call him.

It went a lil something like this:

*Ring Ring*
SJ: Yo? Heyyy. I've been trying to text you all week.
** yall!..just startin off with lies. That fool did none such a thing**
Lovely: So when did you get a girlfriend?
SJ: Uhhh..tha-tha-thas just something I put up there. I-it-it-its up there for a reason i'll explain it to you later..(stutterin ass!)
Lovely: *still in shock and disbelief*...Whatever..*Click*

So, around 9 o'clock I get a little antsy and call him back..

Lovely: So, g'head and explain it to me..
SJ: Well, that's something I up put up there to stop some girl from tryna talk to me..
**wtf? He couldn't come up with an excuse better than that?!**
Lovely: Are you sure about that?..(I stalked homegirls myspace page and sure enough she was "in a relationship")
SJ: Well, we was talkin about getting together, but I don't know how that's gonna work (homegirl lives 3 states away)
Lovely: So when were you gonna tell me instead of me finding out on FACEBOOK?!
SJ: I would tell you if we got together but we're not..I'm at work right now so i'll call you later.
Lovely: **still speechless**Ummm...I still don't understand it so you need to call me back
SJ: Ok, i'll call you..

He never calls.

I text him back the next day about not calling and he's like "My bad, I forgot"..

Then I call him later that night and ask him if we're ever gonna talk about it. This fool say's
"We already talked about it last night..I'm in class right now" and hangs up.

I never call him back. (I want answers but shit, Ms. Lovely has her pride! )

The last time I checked his Facebook he had a picture of he and the girl up (Just threw it in my face yall. So I deleted his ass)

So this is where I am now--2 weeks later. Typing in my blog to you all about having my heart broken...

For the last year I have been nothing but good to SJ. Gave him a chance through all his fuckery and baby mama drama when he was on my bra strap (chile that's an entire 'notha book. Did someone say fake twins?). Listened too him vent even when I didn't want to hear it. Flew down the highway many a nights in the early a.m just to make sure he was ok. Typed his resume, made sure he ate and topped it off with some good good.

The last time I saw him I was waking up at 5am to drop him off for a trip. He gave me the sweetest kiss and thanked me. Then I log on a few weeks later only to get the most sour tasting slap in the face. This is the last thing I needed with my school stress. Chile, I drove to school that Monday morning, with a cigarette in one hand and my big black Mary J glasses on crying all the way(Don't be alarmed. I smoked for all but a week. That habit is one I cannot afford!haha)

The funny thing is, I wasn't even going to talk to him at first but after speaking to him I figured he was a nice guy who made a few mistakes(who doesn't ya know?). The fact of the matter is I haven't felt hurt like this is a lonnnng time. I was clear on the fact that we weren't official but it's kind of hard to draw the line when he's the only man i've been with for the last year. I thought he would be man enough to come to me and let me know what was going on. I'm just too good of a girl and I always get the pointy end of the stick. Right into my goddamn heart:( Why do guys do shit like this? I guess it's easier to be an asshole than to be a man and tell me to my face. Either way would've hurt like hell but I would've walked away with a more respect for him and a little more faith in the male species.

A year ago I would have probably blew up his phone with pathetic "baby why why why's?" but ya girl is too through. If it wasn't for ears lended from family and friends ya girl probably would've broke down and called him by now. I haven't spoken to him since he hung up on me and i'm not exactly sure I want too. I mean, what do I say? It's all in my face so there's really not explanation other than an "I'm sorry" that would make me even want to hear his voice at this point.

Some days are good and other's are bad. I've stopped crying but i'm still at the stage where I turn the station when love songs come on. Ya girl is still in disbelief and dissapointment. I'm such a great girl and didn't deserve any of this. I just can't believe he wasn't man enough to let me know.........

I'll keep you updated as things progress..Thanks for listening cause I know it was a long one :)

CHILE PLEASE--If this is the price I pay for letting down my guard and trusting someone; ya girl needs a better security system. Anybody have the number to Fort Knox?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I know I know..

I left you all in a cliffhanger (teehee) with the last post but ya girl has been through the ringer, the dryer, and the fire in the last 3 weeks! I had a family emergency and some other fuckery with SexyJamaican that completely broke a sista's heart(*sigh* :/). I just got home from a 12 hour clinical so ya girl is exhausted! I'm gonna eat my Popeyes Chicken and grab a wink of sleep. I have a presentation in the morning and after that I have a huge project due by Friday. Trust and believe there WILL be an update this weekend lovlies!

Chile Please--STAY TUNED. We got LOTS to discuss!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Story of BlackMon: Part 2--Jerk Behavior

So we left off with my V card getting pulled (or poked rather). I thought I was ready. Shoot, it didn't even hurt as much as my homegirls said it would. Just really awkward. At any rate...I was hooked.

The year that ensued was full of little break ups and make ups. It wasn't always official either; More like he would stop calling, coming by for a month or two. Then one day he would show up and my dumb behind would take him back. It was a mess chile, but what can I say? I was young, dumb, and much to his delight naive.

The next summer I graduated highschool. BlackMon had gotten kicked out sophmore year for looking at porn in the library (lmao) and despite several chances at the new school he didn't graduate at all. I was officially dating a highschool dropout. And prom, don't even get me started! All year I had made plans to go with him and a week before he says he didn't want to go because he "couldn't find a suit in time. " Bullshit! Then when I asked if he was going to his he said he "didn't know who he was going with". Excuse me?! I was livid!. Mom wanted me to go with my cousin but I refused. I went by myself and my homegirls and ended up had a wonderful time. And don't you know that fool had the nerve to call me the night of prom. Pfft! That shit stayed on the hook.

After all the pomp and circumstance was over we made up and got back together that summer (I told you I was naive) Never considering myself the most attractive girl (back then) I guess you could say I was 'cumming' into womanhood (or at least I thought). My breast grew fuller, my hips spread (just a tad), and I was fixing myself up a lot more. Needless to say, we had so much sex that summer, porn stars would be envious. We started to get reckless and left the condom in the wrapper quite a few times. I was being irresponsible and I knew it. Afterward I would cry in the shower thinking how could I be so silly. One night I told him I loved him and all he did was give me that stupid sneaky smile he always gave me. Not a word in return.

A little while after that I informed him my period was 2 weeks late. That same dimpled smirk was nowhere to be found.

CHILE PLEASE--"A rose is still a rose, but babygirl you're still a flower..."--Aretha

Friday, April 4, 2008

Lets NOT discuss it

Yea so I really haven't been in the blogging mood lately because school has been crazy. Easter break was boring but I got some rest. Had a few drinks and chilled out. Then I check my school mailbox and what do I find?! A academic warning. I'm bordering on a high C..BLAH! Albeit 95% of the program got one but I'm sayin!; this is not Ms. Lovely behavior. I'm usually on top of my game even when i'm at my worse. So with that said my extracurricular activities (or lack thereof) had to go on the back burner.

Anywho. I know you're anxiously waiting to hear about what happened with SexyJamaican..

Well here goes...


I would elaborate on the situation but I don't even feel like going into it (right now) because it will piss me off even more.

CHILE PLEASE--I need a new boo...