Do you ever have one of those days where you feel totally imcompetent, incapable, and just plain ole inadequate? The end of my pediatric rotation is next week and today for the life of me I could NOT get it together. I only had 2 meds to give but I couldn't calculate the dosage and I felt like such an idiot when my instructor asked me a simple math question. She's nice but I hate being put on the spot because I tend to overanalyze and rethink when i'm actually doing it right. And then I get to beating myself up over it all day...*sigh*
Anywho, i've been drained a lot lately and it's not just me being pessimistic or lazy. I have ZERO energy. All I want to do is sleep. Some days are good. Some days are bad. Others are even worse. My memory is shot to hell. Just yesterday I was supposed to be at my 9 am pharmacology lecture. So I got up early to beat traffic, made it there on time; hell i'd even read the material and was prepared for the quiz. I stopped at the cafe to get a bacon & egg omelete, sat down to look over the class powerpoints, looked at my watch and it was 9:30! My dippy behind was on Monday's 10am schedule. Needless to say I missed a quiz on 6 effin chapters! I wanted to cry so bad.
On top of that my closest friends are busy with their own lives and I rarely have the time on the weekends (my study time) to get out the house and mingle.
Haven't had good sex in the longest (I've had sex yet note: I said good sex)
My hair is a mess mainly because I refuse to do it.
My pride won't let me admit it but........................................I might be depressed.
There, I said it. I know you all don't wanna hear this "woe is me" crap because I don't like to speak about it but I just had to get it out.
Chile Please--I don't need no Prozac. Some warm weather are lovin' will do just fine.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Like I always do...
Yes, yes...today is valentines day (it is not a holiday in my eyes, therefore it will not be capitalized) and yet again I am ALONE. Hard to believe but even during that whole time I was with BlackMon he rarely got me anything. Niggas always talking about "not celebrating the white mans holiday.." Whatever you cheap bastard! Ok, excuse that materialistic outburst but I don't know what it is about this day. The older I get the more I can't stand it. And not for legitimate reasons (i.e, it's a money wasting bullshit day that women bitch and complain about just so they can feel special from their lame and probably cheating boyfriend) I mostly hate valentines day because I never get shit! Just 1 year i'd like to feel special, you know? Can I get a hug, kiss, and/or dick slinging session? Nathan! Ms.Lovely gets nothing and i'm sick of it. A girl as beautiful, intelligent, smart, caring, and lovely as me (yes, i'm giving myself l-o-v-e since no one else will!) deserves something for being there for you (yes you) *sigh* Flowers. Bears. Candy. Hotel Reservations. Dinner. A poem. Shoot, all I really want is a telephone call :(
Chile Please- Cupid, catch herpes swiftly.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Do you ever sit back and wonder. Set aside religion.God.Jesus. and all that religious foo foo la because in all due honesty I don't necessarily know if I believe it. Moreso I don't believe in what organized religion stands for. But anywho, back to the question: Do you ever sit back and wonder. Why the heck am I here? Why the hell are we all here? It's mind boggling I tells ya. And already confused enough for my mind to be boggled anymore than it is so i'ma just that right where I picked it up...
So, the point of starting this blog is to vent about the daily happn's in my life. Well, its kinda hard to do that now. Long story short: I was updating my blog when I let SJ use my computer to print something. Needless to say he unlocked my computer without my knowledge( I know I should have a password!!!) and read some of my post about BigB and his un-hygienic ass rinsing off with water. I closed that shit with the quickness so I don't know how much his eyes saw or if he thought that was about him. As a result I have to refrain from posting about him until I know absolutely sure he ain't snooping on this piece piece. And if you are babe, it's nothing that isn't true! (and you smell delicious even when you sweat! lol)
In other news...school is going pretty good. I'm usually slack with reading but i've been trying to be the un-procrastinator and get my ish together. I'm also applying for a few externships for the summer so ya girl is gonna be saving up for a new car and hopefully moving out of my mom's house soon. Other than that I have to think of something snazzy to talk about with you all because a sista is just so uncreative at the moment. Oh wait...I got something:
Well, my birthday passed. I didn't have much to do but my mom cooked me my favorite dinner. Steak, potatoes, corn..MmmmmMMmmmm.BITCH! Well, after that the itis set in and I was planning on taking my punk ass to bed until I got a call from a buddy ole pal, GoofyGuy. He was on his way to a popular shopping strip and wanted to know if I wanted to ride with him. Having nothing else to do I said "What the hell...It's my BURFDAY :)!" We shopped and I brought myself the flyest black lace up granny boots you ever did see. Then on the way home he said some of his other friends were at a local bowling alley and wanted him to drop by. It was late so we were just gonna chill. (Thank goodness because I cannot tell you how much I hate bowling!)..So we get there and meet up with his friends. Everything was cool until I look to my right and see this dude that tried to get with me before. We'll call him LightBright.
Well another long story short. I met LightBright through my co-worker and we'd all gone out as a group a few times last summer. Nice guy but I wasn't really interested in him and blew off his advances. Not for no reason (Ms.Lovely always has a reason..) His reason is that he is immature. And sure I can tolerate a little immaturity here and there because I don't take myself that seriously but I'm talking about grown man immaturity. The kind that makes you screw your face up like this. For instance, The one time we went out I brought my cousin along. Well, the entire time he and his friends kept getting mad and picking fights with guys that would try to talk to us. He shouted one was "gay" because he had on a nice sweater. Ummm. Excuse me but when the hell is it standard for negroes to wear logo white tees and fitted hats to be considered "Cool". Furthermore, we are not your girlfriends. Never will be, so stop trying to lay claim fool! Anywho, I tried to pretend like I didn't see him. Which in my defense is a feasible alibi because I really didn't know it was him until I was leaving. And even if I had seen him earlier I wouldn't have greeted the mofo because of his previous immature track record. Even though me and GoofyGuy are purely platonic, I know he wouldn't have anyone disrespecting me or him; especially from a white tee wearing fugazi fool. And last, your lovely one was NOT going to be the impetus for some drama popping off on her birthday of all days..No way.Now how.
>>Fastforward to today
I get a message in my myspace inbox from none other thaaaan..and it reads:
"go do some work & get off myspace, u cme 2 the bowln alley & dnt speak 2 nobody oh ok i c how it is(lol) ugly nigga u was with anyway"
Whateva nigga! Yall see what I mean. I could only laugh at that and I didn't even want to respond. Hurt feelings and hate don't mix well. Why are you looking in another mans face anway? [in 10 year old voice] That's gaaaaay [/immature]. And GoofyGuy is handsome yall so i'm detecting symptoms of a disease I like to call: Hateitis. It's an epidemic among fugazi ass negros. Symptoms include:
1. Hating on men and women alike
2. Calling other men ugly when you look like you need have a hand up your ass (muppet face!)
3. Wearing tight thermal shirts to a club.
But fret not, I have the elixir; it's called: Shut The Hell Up! Now. Guaranteed to stop the gump shit that comes out your mouth and simmer yo' ass down. [Bernie Mac]Immeegeeitlee[/DollaBill]
CHILE PLEASE- Go'head and overdose on it...