Sentences.

Between the baby, relationship drama, new job I am exhausted.

I am happy with where my life is.

I'm never broke and my bills are paid.

BUT

I cannot find time for myself.

There aren't enough hours in the day.

I want to exercise.
Eat right.
Take my baby for a walk.
Go on a date with AG.
Look good.
Smile more.
Take some new pictures.
Learn how to sew.
Start a scapbook.
Paint my nails.
Try a new recipe.
Bake cookies.
Have a drink or two (or three or four:)
Be the life of the party.
And just be plain ole' fab.

CHILE PLEASE- Motrin is not helping!

Things done changed.

hellooooooooooooooooooooo ALL!

Real quick:

ActivistGuy and I are still going strong.
The baby is going on 5mths and he is amaaaaazing.
I started a new job with non-zombie hours.

Love my life. Everything has worked out for the best. I am blessed. We all are.

How are my lovelies? I need to revamp and remodel this blog. The black is so melahcholy :( I'mma fix this place up.

I miss blogging. I have been writing lately (journaling) and it has renewed the fire within me to blog again. I log on sometimes and don't write a thing because I don't have the drama to talk about. No SexyJamaican or random date, or vodka induced exploit. I feel like I will bore you guys. Most days i'm about as exciting as a rock squeezed between 2 pieces of dry toast being eaten by Nick Cannon. My life has changed so much in the last two years. I'm a f*cking mom now?! And just to think I had dreams of being a hot bish driving around a candy apple red Corvette with a dope condo, donning expensive clothes and a man heaux.

Instead i'm a hot bish driving around a burgundy Lexus (love her), I live in a 3 bdrm house with a driveway..I rock targe', and I'm engaged to the love of my life.

I logged on about 20 mins ago and realized that this will be a different blog. I am still the same Lovely and will continue to share accordingly BUT..


CHILE PLEASE- Things done changed.

He's HEEERRRRRRRE!!!!!

Ethan Amadi

CHILE PLEASE- Of all the love affairs I've had, none have ever felt like this.

Baby baby..oh BABY!

So lets get right into it, shall we?

I'm 39 weeks and ready to deliver my baby boy. I'm 2cm and having irregular contractions. After being pregnant for over a year I am soOOooo ready to have my body back. Before getting preggers I was 112lbs and i've gained 30lbs: ALL BELLY! My legs have gotten bigger..boobs too. My ass stayed the same..ugh. That's the one place I needed it. Anywho, I'm due on Sunday which is also Mother's Day :). I'm gonna go walking on Friday to speed things up..

Next up,

ActivistGuy and I are having some serious relationship issues. So much so that I have stopped wearing my ring (for far more reasons than i'm about to speak about..that's a whole notha post--no BLOG chile!) He seems to think I don't care about our relationship and that I lack initiative and motivation. I say i'm a chillax ass kind of gal. I think that he is too Type A and high strung (I'm almost certain he has ADD). He say's he's motivated and destined for world domination (or something like it). When we have a discussion , we both agree on our issues, put forth a plan to change things but nothing happens. Now this is both our fault but he thinks it's more or less MY fault. I think he needs to chill the f*ck out and stop b*tching all the time. Everytime he walks in the house he's complaining about something. "Why is this here?" or "Why is that there".."Why didn't you do this?" or "Why did you do that?" Just so annoying to me. I feel like i'm walking on eggshells ev-er-y-day. On top of that i'm pregnant and my emotions are all over the place. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night we were watching the re-run of President Obama & Michelle on Oprah. Michelle spoke a lot about relationships, sacrifice, and particularly about how you have to "like" the person you're with. We had yet another discussion about our relationship today and told him "No" I did not like him all the time. *Le-sigh*..I don't know what to do. The baby is coming and we can't just walk away from this.

CHILE PLEASE- This is draining me just talking about it. I'll post more later!

25 Weeks and counting

I'm nice and preggo. Today i'm 25 weeks. Yesterday was my 27th Bday. I didn't do much. ActivistGuy got beautiful flowers delivered and my mom-in-law sent an Edible Arrangement. My mom bought my traditional fav strawberry shortcake from Lynn's Bakery. YUUUMMMM!!

I ate and ate and ate for most of the day and watched the 4th season of the Wire. Activist Guy has never seen it before so i'm re-watching it with him.

The baby just kicked me :) He kicks a lot these days.

I'm oh so ready to go out on maternity leave but I have to fulfill my 1yr requirement, which means I have to stay working until April 5th. Baby is due May 8th (Mothers Day. cute!). So i'm trying to hang in there. I work 7p-7a, 3 shifts a week on a busy ass cardiac floor. Not to mention all the dump patients we get from other floors. Confused 92 yr old? Schizophrenic homicidal maniac? Enraged crack addict? Yea..we get 'e all. Not too mention all the beauracratic nonsense that goes on behind the scenes with managers and staff. It's pretty safe to say I hate floor nursing and am only doing it for the experience. I'd much rather work out of a docs office or be a school nurse. All that drama-drama, rush- rush is not for me. Which is why after I have the baby I probably won't return.

OK--Side note: I'm sitting here watching this documentary on Fit TV about "The Pregnant Man" ..Excuuuse me but that "man" is biologically a woman. A WOMAN!! with ovaries and a uterus. He/she is not a damn man so they need to stop being dramatic. ugh!

Activist Guy is on vacation until Feb. This pregnancy brings a whole different dynamic to our relationship. He has a type A personality and i'm Type B or whatever you wanna label it. Anywho, my emotions are up and down and even the slightest inclination that i'm doing something "wrong" by him sets me off. He say's he understands, but i'm convinced that no matter how hard he tries, he can't. I'm preggzilla sometimes and ge can't accept that. I like to relax on my days off but he always has to be a busy-body and wants me to be the same. This man can talk, talk, talk like nobodies business. Always running off to this or that meeting. Always trying to help someone in the community. While this is one of the things I love about him, it burns him out. I see it when he can't sleep at night or when he's on the phone nonstop. No doubt, he'll be successful one day but i'm worried that the baby may make him work even harder. *lesigh*

CHILE PLEASE- I'm hungry again.

The answer.

Hola Lovlies!

Sorry to have left you all in suspense but the answer to your question:


YES, I'M PREGNANT!!


4 months and 3 weeks today. After the loss of our first child we were told to wait at least six months but it just didn't work out that way. We are very happy at this point in our lives. ActivistGuy (now my fiance, so maybe I should give him a new name) is now in grad school and working on other numerous projects, while I still work night shift on the cardiac floor.

A lot is going on in my life...

My father recently had a stroke (which is a whole 'nother post in itself chile) and my mother fell and hurt her knee (she's actually going in for surgery tomorrow) So yea.....it's pretty safe to say that i'm trying to balance out all these things and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

With that said..
It's hard to post but I am going to keep this blog running. Sometimes it's the only way I have to vent my feelings to a complete arbitrary audience without receiving an opinion that's biased. I love you all for taking this ride with me. I go back and read posts i've written a year ago and wonder where the f*ck my head was. It's been a fun ride so far and I have plenty more stories to tell.

CHILE PLEASE-- Let's keep going...:)

Finally posting again.

Soooo...I abandoned this place. There has been a LOT going on in my life since I last posted. Some good, some bad.

The GOOD:

1. ActivistGuy and I are still together. We got engaged on Valentine's Day this year. Ironic since I used to hate Valentines Day. We live together now and still actually like eachother (most of the time lol:) Our wedding is set for July 22nd, 2011.

2. I finally got rid of my jalopy and got a new car. Well, it's not new new, but it is a Lexus..HONK HONK bitches!!

3. I got out of the Psych Hospital I was working at and took a job on a cardiac floor at a busy hospital. (this isn't exactly good though. I hate the floor but it pays the bills for now.

4. I'm an auntie! My little sister just had a baby girl last week. Auntie Lovely in the houuuuse!!!

The BAD:

1. Most of you knew had got the hint that I was pregnant the last time I posted. Unfortunately we lost our son when I was 5 months pregnant this summer. I don't want to go into detail but as you can imagine this has been very difficult for us. I have been up and down for the last few months. With the help from, God, family and friends I....we have been able to get through this ok. I struggle with his loss everyday but I have faith in knowing that my son in better needed in heaven.

CHILE PLEASE- I take the good with the bad knowing I have been blessed--again....