Saturday, March 2, 2013


It's the same ole shit. I need peace of mind. Goddamn it, this world is so unkind.

Chile please- don't mind me and my corny rhymes. It's just that type of day. Everyday.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Happy To Be Nappy??

Well, at least I don't all the time. 

I got a hair story to tell. Wanna hear it? Here it go!

I am no stranger to doing my own hair. Growing up in the struggle my mother did not have money to send me to the salon every 2 weeks.  Mom dukes broke out the Kiddie Kit relaxer at age 5.

And my face would be

She would keep it in braids, twist, beads, shells and thangs! I had all the dope styles! Occasionally she would break out the big black dreaded hot comb (that is thee only time in life i've ever wanted to hit my mom, esp when she burns the tip of your ear ARRGGH!)  I had that Auntie that knows how to do hair but she wasn't always available.  In high school I taught myself how to care for my own hair: braids, sew-ins, bumping, so an and so forth.  Micro's were my go to style and I was pretty good and quick. My last experience with a salon had me waiting for damn near 6 hours and she didn't do the style I asked for after I tipped her previously. Miss Lovely will not endure that fuckery anymore. Cudos to those who can. Eventually, my hair grew past my shoulders but has never broken the bra strap barrier.

I have been natural for 3 years now.  Before then I was only perming my edges and roots. Becoming pregnant aided me in my decision to abandon the relaxer all together. I chose to transition instead of big chop because simply put: I ain't about that life!

After I had Mr. Baby Man the hair in the front of my hair broke off.  Later the sides and my edges followed and I was devastated.  That thick mane of crown and glory I was so proud of was chopped and screwed. I messed around with a couple of sew-ins until I just gave up and just wore it out. Most of the time I wore it in a banana clip with a bang like this:

I got tired of this and so did my hair

After a few Youtube tutorials and overpriced African salon quotes, I tried my hand at Senegalese twists for the first time this December.

Voila! Took me 3 days.

Took em out 2 weeks ago and put in box braids last week.

Though very time consuming I think i'll stick with braids for awhile, or at least until my edges catch up.  All those cute styles on Instagram give me inspiration but chileeeeeeee.....I ain't got time for that! Nor do I have the patience.  Natural hair is work and all those products.....pffffft! I'm not saying i'm going back to relaxers but damnit it was a lot easier that way.  Every once in awhile that cream crack devil whispers "Just do the edges, that's all." 

God say stay away from the creamy crack, but it harrrd to DO! [in my Abeline from The Help voice]. When I was perming I could wear half wigs (that blended well), straight, updo's, curls. Now, my hair won't stay straight for sh*t in the summer time! Cmon son!  The Natural Hair Care movement is something i'm down with BUT don't make me feel guilty for wearing my hair straight.  And heck no i'm not growing locs.  That's waaaay too permanent for me.

I've encountered one too many (in person or online) self righteous natural coiffed women who think that if you're not down with the movement, you're somehow wallowing in self-hate to appease the mainstream. And on the other side you have black men that claim they prefer  natural hair on a woman but salivate over the first blond hair weave headed chick that struts by. No lie: Since i've been natural I i've gotten way less attn from black men than when I was relaxed.  It's cray cray!

I'm not going back to the crack but if that's what you do, HEY [arms outstretched] YOU.

CHILE PLEASE- At the end of the day, does it really matter how we wear our hair?  Colored, natural, twisted, braided, cut, permed, fried, dyed, or layed to the side.  It's what inside that counts right-RIGHT??

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Irreconcilable Differences.

I am experiencing an almost third life crisis. 

What the hell have I done to myself to be so unsatisfied lately?

On one hand:
I have my health.
A career I don't regret and a job I love.
A beautiful baby boy (and 4 months preggo today:)
A partner
A roof over my head
A car

On the contrary..
I feel like crap most days, don't exercise much, and am somewhat depressed.
I love my son ggff (him typing lol) but am worried about having another.
He is just as flawed as I am, not including our relationship issues.
I live in pretty shitty and dangerous city
Time for a bigger car after the 2nd baby
+ More stuff that require separate posts.

What is missing? Hmmmmm. Is it God? faith? religion? peace? Could very well be true but I am prone to skepticism in this area much to the dismay of ActivistGuy.  I know.....I am working on it. Perhaps I need to work much harder, eh?

Anywho,  I am at a fork in the road as to how I reconcile realities with ideologies. 

I feel like my late twenties are no longer mine.  I have a passport with no stamps, a body that will never be the same, bills and responsiblilities, serious relationship issues, few friends, and another child on the way.  If I am being honest with myself, several things have to change but I am not sure where to begin and making excuses is seriously getting old. 

CHILE PLEASE- Things done changed.

Thursday, November 3, 2011


Between the baby, relationship drama, new job I am exhausted.

I am happy with where my life is.

I'm never broke and my bills are paid.


I cannot find time for myself.

There aren't enough hours in the day.

I want to exercise.
Eat right.
Take my baby for a walk.
Go on a date with AG.
Look good.
Smile more.
Take some new pictures.
Learn how to sew.
Start a scapbook.
Paint my nails.
Try a new recipe.
Bake cookies.
Have a drink or two (or three or four:)
Be the life of the party.
And just be plain ole' fab.

CHILE PLEASE- Motrin is not helping!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Things done changed.

hellooooooooooooooooooooo ALL!

Real quick:

ActivistGuy and I are still going strong.
The baby is going on 5mths and he is amaaaaazing.
I started a new job with non-zombie hours.

Love my life. Everything has worked out for the best. I am blessed. We all are.

How are my lovelies? I need to revamp and remodel this blog. The black is so melahcholy :( I'mma fix this place up.

I miss blogging. I have been writing lately (journaling) and it has renewed the fire within me to blog again. I log on sometimes and don't write a thing because I don't have the drama to talk about. No SexyJamaican or random date, or vodka induced exploit. I feel like I will bore you guys. Most days i'm about as exciting as a rock squeezed between 2 pieces of dry toast being eaten by Nick Cannon. My life has changed so much in the last two years. I'm a f*cking mom now?! And just to think I had dreams of being a hot bish driving around a candy apple red Corvette with a dope condo, donning expensive clothes and a man heaux.

Instead i'm a hot bish driving around a burgundy Lexus (love her), I live in a 3 bdrm house with a driveway..I rock targe', and I'm engaged to the love of my life.

I logged on about 20 mins ago and realized that this will be a different blog. I am still the same Lovely and will continue to share accordingly BUT..

CHILE PLEASE- Things done changed.

Monday, May 16, 2011


Ethan Amadi

CHILE PLEASE- Of all the love affairs I've had, none have ever felt like this.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Baby baby..oh BABY!

So lets get right into it, shall we?

I'm 39 weeks and ready to deliver my baby boy. I'm 2cm and having irregular contractions. After being pregnant for over a year I am soOOooo ready to have my body back. Before getting preggers I was 112lbs and i've gained 30lbs: ALL BELLY! My legs have gotten bigger..boobs too. My ass stayed the same..ugh. That's the one place I needed it. Anywho, I'm due on Sunday which is also Mother's Day :). I'm gonna go walking on Friday to speed things up..

Next up,

ActivistGuy and I are having some serious relationship issues. So much so that I have stopped wearing my ring (for far more reasons than i'm about to speak about..that's a whole notha post--no BLOG chile!) He seems to think I don't care about our relationship and that I lack initiative and motivation. I say i'm a chillax ass kind of gal. I think that he is too Type A and high strung (I'm almost certain he has ADD). He say's he's motivated and destined for world domination (or something like it). When we have a discussion , we both agree on our issues, put forth a plan to change things but nothing happens. Now this is both our fault but he thinks it's more or less MY fault. I think he needs to chill the f*ck out and stop b*tching all the time. Everytime he walks in the house he's complaining about something. "Why is this here?" or "Why is that there".."Why didn't you do this?" or "Why did you do that?" Just so annoying to me. I feel like i'm walking on eggshells ev-er-y-day. On top of that i'm pregnant and my emotions are all over the place. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night we were watching the re-run of President Obama & Michelle on Oprah. Michelle spoke a lot about relationships, sacrifice, and particularly about how you have to "like" the person you're with. We had yet another discussion about our relationship today and told him "No" I did not like him all the time. *Le-sigh*..I don't know what to do. The baby is coming and we can't just walk away from this.

CHILE PLEASE- This is draining me just talking about it. I'll post more later!